Into the Night

It is hard for me to write when I am in the middle of a battle. I pour my soul into my stories. My fears, my short comings, my shadows. When I am in the middle of a struggle with the Dark, my writing often gets pushed back. Held off until I'm in the light again. "You can't write know, you can barely make it through classes/work without tears. Writing would tear you apart. Besides writing while in a highly emotional state impairs your work." I tell myself. "Focus on college, you don't know how to write yet."

I need to break the cycle. After college it will be "You're too busy at work to write. Writing drains you." Yes, writing does drain me. I get shaky and need to sleep after a solid day of writing. But what is it draining me of? All the strife and struggles; the darkness is finally laid out on paper for the world to see.

There are a lot of Christian books that were written in the light, about nothing but the light. That is all well and good, but Christianity is not about light alone. It is about leaving the darkness. It is learning to fight back. It is about diving into the dark to be a light. A light only shines when it is in the dark. I need to write about the dark. How it talks to me, caresses me and beckons me to follow. Only then will I be able to help others turn down that offer. There is no point in a lighting a candle at high noon. To defeat the shadows, we must first enter them. Yes, it is hard to write when the Dark is at my shoulder, but that is where the Light is needed. We chose to be bearers of light, to carry it into the shadows. It is time to plunge into the night.