Recently my church began to do a twenty-one day fast. My youth class decided to give up one or more of our hobbies and habits. Honorary older brother, Ayden, gave up his video games. My dear companion at school, Mae, gave up facebook and texting. I gave up restricted myself to read only the Bible and to do no writing besides what was needed for school. I started on the first day of second semester and went on from there. When my classmates found out about it, they all stared.
"Now Lizzy, be serious." One senior tried to reason with me. He has been my friend since we were ten. He knows that I read to escape, to draw strength from the characters; to learn how to be a better writer and to gain more understanding of how the world around me works. This boy understands that writing my fiction stories is how I process what happens in my life and that it kept me sane during my rough time away from God.
"I am serious." I meant it. What better place to gain strength and understanding than from God? How would I be able to hear what he said if I had my ears stuffed with wax?
"Wow, Lizzy, you're crazy." A dark haired girl points her finger at me eyeing me carefully. I used to play house with her on the playground. We've never been very close, but to her I'm the daughter of two teachers who has had her nose in a book since second grade. There's a look in her eyes that startles me. Yes, she really thinks I've gone round the bend. However, the way she looks at me holds more. She's in awe that I'd be willing to even try this fast, I can see that she respects me.
"I'd never be able to do that." Another girl I grew up with shakes her head. It startles me. I've never really been part of the group. I sit with them at lunch, but for the most part I do my own thing. We don't hang out outside of school and the clubs we participate in are different as well. Her grades are above mine and I've always felt shabby in my old black jeans and red Wal-Mart blouse compared to her outfits. Sometimes I felt she looked down on me because of my eagerness in English and Viking-like hair. Yet here she was, giving me a look of pride and respect.
I shrug, not sure what to say. "Anything is possible with God." All three of them widen their eyes further, anymore and the eyeballs may fall out. "Plus it's just books and a pen." The eyes shrink a tad, but I can still feel them watching me as I go back to the video I'm making for class.
A week passed. I had no problem with not touching the shelves of fiction that reside in my room...until the books I ordered over break came in. A leather bound edition of The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis and Ted Dekker's The Circle Series. I was tempted, but as soon as they were out of the packaging they were on my book shelf next to The Lord of the Rings.
By the second week I noticed changes in my behavior. I had more energy, physically I felt the same as always. Spiritually I was jumping up and down like a toddler on soda. I had a few free classes. While the others were playing games I opted to read my Bible. I studied First Samuel, Esther, Ruth, most of Daniel, and parts of Job, James, and Genesis in those classes. It was a very good learning experience. To top that off, I gained more patience with the classmates that I normally have the urge to strangle. I saw them differently and grew to love them. My love for God seemed to explode and I swear I could feel his hand on my shoulder when I walked down the hallway (no, it wasn't my backpack).
During my last week, I had a surprise. Part of what I had been praying for was that my classmates would become closer to God. Suddenly the friends I mentioned above were praying and discussing Bible verses on Facebook. They still said that I was crazy, but every time they ask if I was still fasting, I could sense their excitement and the pride when they explained to the teacher why I wasn't reading my favorite authors in my spare time (I tried to tell the teachers, but they beat me to it). To top it off, one of the girls walked up to me with a huge grin and a glow of joy. She told me she was fasting by giving up Facebook for a week. I wanted to hug her and cry for joy (unfortunately even a hug breaks the PDA rules and can land you in ISD).
I gave up my books, paper and pen for God. In that time I began to understand just how much he loves me. Jesus gave up his life for me, why can't I show my love for him by sacrificing my other loves? Even now that the fast is over, I'm still learning about the Father's love. The Circle Series continues to open my eyes and heart. I can feel my mind turning over these new ideas and comparing them with parts of the Bible to make sure Ted Dekker's words match. They do, and a few issues I have always been confused on are starting to make sense. That doesn't mean that I can't continue to to my part in what Dekker calls "The Great Romance" and turn over what I have (pen, tongue, heart and mind) to my Lord.
